dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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