I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
