Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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