I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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