Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
