I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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