Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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