No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
