yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
