I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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