I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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