Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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