What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
