kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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