i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
