is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
