I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i believe in u and ur pee
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