FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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