i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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