fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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