Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize