Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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