the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
