i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
