plz talk dirty to me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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