I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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