If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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