meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize