I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
