There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
