it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
