people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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