I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
