at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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