well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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