They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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