Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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