thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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