No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
