The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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