a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
