look no pants
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
