That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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