haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
