he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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