my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
