I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think your dad took our porno
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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