He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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