i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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