high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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