Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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