I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
