I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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