How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
