Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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