I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
