Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
