Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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