My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
