wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
