It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
