It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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