Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
