Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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