I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
