Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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