Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
